Thursday, October 04, 2007

TT #18

TT# 18
13 THINGS TO THINK ABOUT:
1. Never, under any circumstances, take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
2. If you had to identify, in one word, the reason why the human race has not achieved, and never will achieve, its full potential, that word would be "meetings."
3. There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
4. You should not confuse your career with your life.
5. A dog wants only to please its owner. A cat wants you to please it.
7. Never lick a steak knife.
8. The most destructive force in the universe is gossip.
9. You will never find anybody who can give you a clear and compelling reason why we observe daylight saving time.
10. The one thing that unites all human beings, regardless of age, gender, religion, economic status or ethnic background, is that, deep down inside, we ALL believe that we are above average drivers.
11. A person, who is nice to you, but rude to a waiter, is not a nice person. (This is very important. Pay attention. It never fails.)
12. Thought for the day: Men are like fine wine. They start out as grapes, and it's up to the women to stomp the crap out of them until they turn into something acceptable to have dinner with.
13. There is more money being spent on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer's research. This means that by 2030, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.



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5 comments:

N.J.Walters said...

#2 made me laugh. And #4 is very sage advice.

Lisa Andel said...

My favorites are #1, #12, and #13.

Thanks for the laugh!!!

Moondancer said...

Heh, great list. I'm still giggling here.

http://moondancerdrake.livejournal.com/

Unknown said...

I love #13! Happy TT :)

Susan Helene Gottfried said...

Love that last one, LA. It does make ya wonder what an 80-year-old woman with implants would look like, huh?

Glad I won't be looking in the mirror to find out!